The six people talk by posting to a Newsgroup on the Internet. Since they are all misrepresenting themselves, nobody is quite sure each other. Present is a quote-spouting teenager, a middle-aged housewife who fancies herself a vixen, an un-educated sounding dullard with overactive hormones who may not be as dumb as he lets on, a man who takes the persona of a woman, a curmudgeon who likes nobody but keeps talking to the, and a girl who feels unattractive.
During the course of the play the housewife makes overt passes at the teenager, the dullard makes overt passes as the man posing as a woman, and the unattractive girl softens the curmudgeon. Their communications take them through numerous areas of the Internet, including the Usenet Newsgroup, E-Mail and IRC chat.
Each flounders in their lies until they ultimately give themselves away, while one of the six eventually uncovers each one of them and uses them as the subject of a book about people who meet on the Internet. Once exposed, they must now deal with their embarrassment, though they can now face their own issues that brought them to the Newsgroup in the first place.
The stage should be barren with the exception of six stations with a chair and a table or stand which would hold a computer. Actual computers are optional, but keyboards are recommended. The play has a rhythm to it and it should be "typed."
Lighting is important; when engaging in full discussions, the lights should be full - when engaging in private E-Mail, the actors should be in spots.
When delivering lines, the actors should be typing at their computers and looking at their "screens." They NEVER interact with each other.
PHYLLIS (Phillip McGary) - Male, 30's, nondescript actor wannabe. Phyllis is not gay, though he says he's a woman. Phyllis is, for all intensive purposes, the Tour Guide of the story. It is through him that we are drawn into the story, and it is he who actually perpetuates the story. Phyllis is what would be labeled a "nice guy." He lives at home with his parents in Greenwich, Connecticut, commutes into Manhattan every day where he is a word processing operator for a law firm in midtown Manhattan and tries desperately to get his "big break" as an actor. The sad part is, there is nothing unique enough about Phyllis to make him stand out as an actor and, therefore, seldom gets cast. It is then little wonder that, desperate for conversation, he tries the guise of a woman to merely get someone to talk to him. Phyllis at no time enjoys his ruse. As a matter of fact, he is not only uncomfortable with the whole thing, but too afraid of isolation to admit the truth.
PLATO (Billy Rosenblatt) - Male, teenager. Geeky, nerdy. Poor Plato is sixteen years old and significantly smarter than his peers. He already attends college, though socially he is years behind. Kids his own age dislike him intensely, and Plato can in no way relate to them as well. Online, Plato can flourish, though he still doesn't know how to talk to people. So, in an effort to sound older, he spouts quotes, which becomes more annoying than impressive.
NADINE (Nadine Schumacker) - Female, middle-aged housewife. Nadine is a bored housewife who finds a new life online. She's married, has teenage children and a life full of grocery shopping and talk shows. The whole online experience is exciting to her — almost too exciting. She gets the notion that she can wear an identity like a suit and nobody will be the wiser, and therefore feebly attempts to be a femme fatale — an obvious flirt. Unfortunately, she isn't adventurous enough to keep her ruse consistent. She's also too maternal for her own good, and becomes sort of the Den Mother of the gang.
CHEESE (Herb Marlett) - Male, 40's. The Curmudgeon. Cheese has been so scarred by relationships that he uses anger to keep people at a distance. This fulfills his self-fulfilling prophecy that everyone is awful because they don't like him. He clearly became a social worker to try to figure himself out. He's actually a very smart, sensitive man. He's just so unhappy with his life that he lashes out, continuing the vicious cycle. He genuinely wants this online community to like him, but he's too afraid that if they like him they will reject him and, therefore, can only be nice to them for short periods of time.
CUTIEPIE (Debbie Berman) - Female, late 20's-early 30's. Not very attractive. Cutiepie is perhaps the most together of the bunch. She knows that she is not the most attractive of women physically, and can be completely herself online and be as popular as she should be — as long as she is never seen. She "knows the score" better than anybody. Even though she is the most desired of the group, she is perfectly happy never being seen.
HORNDOG (Daniel DelMonte) - Male, mid 30's. Not too smart, working class type. Horndog more often than not knows exactly what he is doing. He's too pedestrian to be true, but since nobody can see him they easily believe him. Horndog stirs things up — keeps people on their toes. Though he appears to be ill-mannered, he normally says what everyone is thinking. He is more or less the Id. As his name illustrates, he wants things up-front and fast. Daniel DelMonte, on the other hand, is a totally different story.